I have recently been thinking about what I am calling my “Big” and “Little” egos – the aspects of myself, my personality, that play out in nearly every situation in which I find myself. From what I have been able to deduce, there is neither a distinctly positive or negative aspect to my “Big” or “Little” ego.
More often than not, when one thinks of an “ego,” the mind tends to think of the more “negative” aspects of the ego. Specifically, if we were to say that someone has an “ego,” the common perception is that the person in question has a big ego and is an arrogant asshole who thinks the sun and moon shine out of their ass.
In a similar vein, if a person is viewed to have a smaller, or more diminished ego, the assumption is often that the person in question is a spineless individual who is too insecure and fearful to speak up for what one needs. Such individuals often evoke distain and pity within onlookers.
Perhaps because of this focus on the negative aspects of one’s ego, the more positive aspects of a healthy ego are often over looked. For instance, a “Big” Ego provides one with the courage and determination to pursue lofty goals and relationships – in part because the individual feels worthy of love, praise, and respect. Similarly, a “Little” Ego enables an individual to diligently learn from one’s mistakes, as well as cultivate a sense of empathy towards others as they learn to put another’s needs above their own.
These differing traits of one’s ego could be abstracted more generally to refer to one’s hearts and one’s minds. Neither is superior to the other, instead they both must work in tandem to find balance in our lives.
The balance comes from taking a moment to not vilify one and glorify the other. The balance comes from taking the time to honor both and listen to and trust the wisdom that each of these aspects of your ego are attempting to share.
The question that I have for you, the question I have been attempting to ask myself, is how can I more fully begin to decipher the messages conveyed by my big and little egos – both in their positive forms and their negative forms?
SUMMARY OF BIG EGO GOOD TRAITS:
Individuals with a big ego, have such a strong sense of self-worth, self-love, and self-esteem that they believe themselves capable of anything. This confidence enables a person to being open to being loved. A person without a balanced “Big” Ego may struggle to open themselves up to being loved by another because at the root of their being they may not view themselves to be worthy of love.
SUMMARY OF LITTLE EGO GOOD TRAITS
People with “Little” egos tend to be open to self-improvement, diligent in their efforts to improve themselves, and able to put the needs of others above their own. Lacking, a balanced “Little” Ego can cause an individual to become filled with a false sense of hubris that makes criticism threatening and difficult to truly connect to another person.