For the past week and a half I have been going through a break-up. And perhaps because I am going through a break-up, I have have myself thinking a lot about many previous relationships. What I’ve noticed is that regardless of whether you are the person dumped or the one dumping, break-ups are hard because they highlight, in some form, what is (or was) from what could have
been. They bring to a blaringly bright focus a difference in expectations, hopes, and aspirations from reality. And in many cases, the end of some relationships highlight all the ways in which you, consciously or not, may have been seeking happiness, fulfillment, joy, peace, completion, perfection, companionship, adventure, etc. in the company of another person.
All of this of course is total “rubbish,” as the British might say. No one can bring me happiness, joy, peace, contentment, companionship, perfection, fulfillment – well other than me that is. And perhaps if I wasn’t so quick to forget this one simple truth, I might not so quickly rush into some relationships while avoiding others. My happiness, whether single or coupled off depends entirely upon me and the outlook with which I approach the world. For if I am unable to take responsibility for my own sense of contentment, how on earth can another person? Furthermore, how can I possibly be able to show up authentically and provide the space and opportunity for another person to share in that contentment?
The question I have for you, the one I have been asking myself this week, is how is your relationship with you – right now? Are you taking responsibility for your own mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health and wellbeing? Or have you relinquished that duty to some external situation, person, or event?
This question is not meant to incite judgment, guilt, or blame. Instead it is meant to spark a sense of curiosity and awareness. For it is only through curiosity that we can become aware, through awareness that we can begin to see, and by seeing begin to act with a sense of accountability.
Take a few moments to breathe deeply and connect with your heart space. Afterwards, write down any thoughts or observations.