Lately, I have begun to notice how frequently the words, “I’m tired,” “I need a vacation,” or “I wish it was Friday” come out of my mouth. By simply observing how often I think or speak these phrases, I have begun to notice that too often I wish – verbally or mentally – aspects of my life away.
This awareness, has brought to mind something I read a while ago by Judith Hansen Lasater. In a book called Living Your Yoga, Lasater suggested that we adopt the following mantra, “I want greater freedom in my life, not from my life.” While I instantly loved the single pointed focus for my daily meditations, it took some time for me to realize why that was.
In short, wishing for the weekend, was wishing for a reprieve. I wanted to be free of the exhaustion caused by my daily living – most of which was occupied by a series of seemingly trivial tasks or obligations. That seems fairly obvious to most of us. What I hadn’t realized is that I am often engaged in such exhausting activities because on some level I believe I am worthless, have nothing to offer, and am not enough unless I am doing things to prove my worth, my valuable offerings, and my enoughness. No wonder I am exhausted and constantly attempting to escape my life instead of embracing my life?
As I continue to explore what this may mean for me, I would like to offer the following questions to you? What things currently crowd your life of its ease, its joy, its exuberance? How many of these activities are you doing in order to prove something – to yourself, someone else, the world in general? What is the cost of continuing to engage in these behaviors? What would freedom in your life, versus from your life, look like in this moment? And are you willing to take the courageous step towards that liberation – no matter how small it may seem?