A few weeks ago I was taking an online class with Cristina Sell. And I can’t remember what she was talking about specifically, I only know that when she said, “If you can’t say no, you can’t really say yes.” And this thought has stayed with me.
In my own personal life, I find that very often I do things because I feel compelled to do so. In such instances, I feel as though I have no choice but to do what is expected/asked of me. And yet, I’ve begun to realize that if I can’t say No to something, I can’t fully say yes. I can’t say yes to doing whatever it is that has been asked of me – freely and lovingly. I can’t say yes to honoring my own wants and needs. I can’t say yes to trusting that the relationship I have with another is strong enough to withstand the weight of my honest opinion. And I can’t say yes to whatever it is that life – ultimately – has in store for me.
The question that I have for you, the one I am working to ask of myself is: what are you unable to say No to and what cost may this have either in terms of your career, the integrity of your relationships, or even your own health and happiness?
Yes, saying No comes with a lot of uncertainty, it can be scary to question and challenge some of our sense of safety and familiarity with the status-quo.
Ultimately though saying No is a personal act of courage as you become one of the dissenting voices. Saying No is a sign of respect for your boundaries as well as the capacity of another to be with you exactly as you are. And saying No is ultimately an act of freedom – personally, professionally, and spiritually.
So as you go about the rest of day, I would like you to think about what you would like to say no to so that you can say yes to something else.