Reframing The Narrative

“When you mature, it’s time to leave earlier stages behind. It makes it much harder to leave if you say that you have fallen away from it rather than matured out of it. These are completely different interpretations. With one, you are trying to grasp or get back to what was before. With the other, you look back over your shoulder and bid it goodbye as a nice experience, realizing something more mature is coming.” 


The beginning of fall has always been one of my favorite times of the year. Not only because the changing colors serve as a gentle reminder that my birthday is not too far off in the future, but also because the changing season has this quieting effect that makes the act of turning inward and listening deeply a little bit easier. 

This year as I prepare to turn inward and reflect upon the various intentions I would like to set for myself for my coming new year, I find myself thinking about the quote mentioned above.   

Specifically, I wonder:How much of my own suffering has been the result of a misperception? What if all the things that have “fallen away” or never born the anticipated fruit were simply examples of the maturation process at work? What if all the grief, sadness, anger, loss, and resentment were as intense as they were simply because I had difficulty recognizing the natural processes of life and so fought what was rather than worked with what was? 

It’s with these thoughts in mind that I wanted to share the following questions with you as contemplation points for the week: 

  • What are the “nice experiences” that you have you been attempting to grasp, maintain, or get back to?
  • How might your life and your experience of this aspect of life change if you were able to conceive that possibly you may have “matured out of” versus “fallen away from” this aspect of life? 
  • In this moment, what is one small thing you can do to begin to say goodbye to the nice experience that was and hello to the unknown experience that is yet to be?  

For me, my practice continues to be the place where I work to recognize the ways in which I may have mentally, emotionally, and/or physically matured out of some ways of being and welcome other ways of being.  Imagining your practice might serve a similar purpose, I have public offerings available. If you are interested in join, please reach out to me to be added to the list.