Lately, I have been thinking about why it is that I hold onto “things” – i.e. objects, relationships, feelings, ideas, situations, events, and even identities – well after I have outgrown them.
While this may sound cliché, it seems that I hold onto things because they are comfortable. They are familiar. I feel a sense of ease around them – even though these “things” may no longer be fulfilling or joy making. Because they are known, I know what I can expect from them and have established a level of trust in the satisfaction or dissatisfaction I am likely to receive when engaging with them. I can predict how much time they will take up and can pre-determine how they will show-up. In knowing such things, I am afforded with an awareness of the level of “control” I will have over a given “thing” – even when it appears that I have none.
In making this observation, the questions I have begun to ask myself are: “Why?” “Why do I choose to cling to something that isn’t working? Why am I willing to settle for less than I want, need, or ‘deserve’?” And then of course, “Why don’t I have faith that something or someone better is coming and waiting just around the corner?”
Sadly, the answers to these questions come down to a general sense of unworthiness. Deep within me, there is a voice that continually believes (and reminds me that) I am unworthy of better, unworthy of having my needs met or attended to, unworthy of evening considering that my needs are important to anyone at all. Having such thoughts running through my mind, I unconsciously expend energy seeking out ways, people, relationships, thoughts, feelings, and things that will confirm these feelings of unworthiness.
Imagining I am not the only person walking around with such faulty thinking running the show – after all, most of us got into Yoga because there was some pain present in our lives that we hoped to be healed through the practice – I have the following questions that I would like to share as contemplation points:
- Where in your life are you clinging to “things” that no longer serve you or bring you joy?
- What narratives do you tell yourself that enable you to continue holding onto these things past their use?
- What might potentially be gained, if you were to allow yourself to consider the possibility that you matter, that your happiness matters?
- And then of course, what small change might you make in this moment to begin to trust in your inherent worth and value?
For me, my practice continues to be the place where I work to develop more trust and faith in my own unique worth and value. If your practice serves a similar purpose, I encourage you to join my mailing list so that I may share my weekly offerings with you so that they may be of support in your own journey.